


Anything for you

by Bookworm1986



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28756551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm1986/pseuds/Bookworm1986
Summary: Alternative ending/future for Supernatural
Relationships: Destiel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Anything for you

He pushed himself further into the seat well of the car as the footsteps came closer. He held his breath, hoping they would move on, he didn’t think they would be able to see into the car from where they stood. The feet paused for a moment. Then he heard them recede along the row of cars in the salvage yard. He breathed again.

Fumbling in his pocket, he found his phone and called Sam. 

‘Hello? Dean?’ Dean could hear the sound of the road in the background, Sam was clearly driving.

‘How far out are you?’ As quietly as he could.

‘What? Where are you Dean? Is everything ok?’

‘No, everything is not ok. I’m hiding in a car in the salvage yard, they haven’t found me, but I don’t have long. My arsenal is empty. They are too much for me alone, I’m outnumbered, you need to get here soon.’

‘What about Mom and Eileen?’

‘They went on a supply run, I’ve no idea when they’ll be back!’ 

‘Shit.’ Sam pulled at his tie, wishing he’d taken his suit off before he started driving, give himself more freedom and flexibility when he arrived. ‘Ok, I will get there as soon as I can, just hold on!’.

Dean hung up and gritted his teeth, waiting for the sound of wheels on the gravel to come and save him. Sam must have stepped on the gas. He arrived in 20minutes. 

He walked slowly into the salvage yard surveying the scene. He saw Dean peer out of one of the trucks on the righthand side, before jumping down to stand shoulder to shoulder with Sam. They knew this dance well. They were ready.

They were jumped from behind. There were three against two. It was mayhem for a while as Sam and Dean faught for control. Eventually, the struggling stopped. Sam had the two smaller ones while Dean had managed to subdue the bigger one.

‘Daddy!!’ One of the smaller ones squealed ‘you’re back! We’ve been playing hide and seak with Uncle Dean, we couldn’t find him anywhere’. Dean eyed Sam wearily over the top of his eldest niece’s head. ‘Thank you’ he mouthed. 

They turned just as their Mom and Eileen pulled in. Dean rolled his eyes, just his luck, he’s been holding down the fort all morning and the cavalry turn up at once. 

They strolled round to the front of Bobby’s house, past the old sign for Singer’s Salvage and the newer Winchester Classic Cars. The crossed the yard in front of the workshop which held a number of cars in various stages of repair.

‘Looking good Dean’ commented Sam as they strolled past. ‘Business still booming?’

‘He’s got tons of work from out of state, really getting a good reputation’ beams their mom as Dean rolls his eyes. She catches him ‘it’s true!’, he can’t help but smile along with her.

Bobby is in his kitchen with their Dad. Sam steps in and bear hugs them both. ‘You missed the fun this morning’ John motions to the bird lying on the counter on his way out to meet Mary. Sam counters ‘I’ve been on enough hunts for one lifetime, don’t worry about me. Dean had to miss out because of me too.’ 

Dean is in the yard still playing rough and tumble with his niece and nephews, for all his complaining half an hour ago, he seems pretty happy now. He waves at his mom and Eileen as they walk past with bags bulging with groceries.

‘It’s such a shame, Dean would have made a great Dad.’ Bobby laments.

‘Well he’s an awesome uncle. And don’t forget he did get to raise Jack for a while, that turned out pretty well for everyone.’ Sam smiled, wishing he could speak to Jack, find out how he’s doing.

‘I know, I know, but he’s lonely, he need someone other than me in his life on a daily basis. An old coot like me isn’t going to be around forever. 

He needs someone to love. Someone alive anyway.’ Bobby sighs, turning away from the window. 

Sam looks pensive, then turns back to Bobby, ‘He seems different though, lighter?’. Bobby glances back out of the window, ‘He’s always better when you all are around, especially the kids.’ Sam smiles.

John comes back in from helping unload the car. ‘What are you two looking so down in the dumps about?’

Sam glances out the window where Dean is now taking turns with each of his children spinning them round to make them dizzy.

‘He’s been much better since he’s been meeting up with this new girl, don’t you think?’ Comments John.

Bobby and Sam snap their heads toward him.

‘What girl?’ Bobby asks irritably.

‘The one he’s bringing tomorrow’, John looks between them. Neither of them have a clue what he’s talking about. He guffaws, leaning back and letting out a belly laugh.

‘Idgit’ mumbles Bobby. Sam’s mouth is opening and shutting like a fish. 

‘He hasn’t brought anyone home before. Why didn’t he tell us!?’ Bemoaned Sam.

‘Well he told me!’ Snaps John. Then, ‘but he did say to keep it quiet. He didn’t say why..’

‘Well what did he say?’ Interrogates Sam.

‘I was joking with him that he needed to get out more, go to bars, pick up girls, like he used to. He said he’d tried, he couldn’t, it wasn’t him anymore. But not to worry, as he was bringing someone for Thanksgiving lunch tomorrow, but he wanted it to be a surprise. I guess I’ve ruined that now’ said a rueful John.

‘Did he say anymore? A name? Do we know her?’

‘No name, he said I had never met her.’ John shrugged, ‘we’ll find out tomorrow’.

Bobby just raised his eyebrows and went on out to the yard. Sam dropped it, his dad clearly doesn’t know any more. He didn’t stop thinking about it though. 

It’s been ten years since their showdown with Chuck, since Jack took over running this Up There, since Cas ... has been gone, since their parents, Bobby and Eileen came back to them (thank you Jack). 

Sam and Eileen had got married pretty fast after that, had Charlotte a year later and the twins a couple of years after they. Sam had gone back to finish his law degree, and was now officially an FBI agent. He kept his hand in advising young hunters. They had turned the bunker into a resource for hunters across the world. Now that Rowena was in charge down in hell, they mostly dealt with monsters. Life was much simpler.

Dean had stayed in the bunker for a while, but the enthusiasm had gone. After a near miss with a rebar left him with some big hospital bills and reduced flexibility he decided to call it quits. He moved up and brought some land next to Bobby’s, built himself a house and started working at Bobby’s business. Bobby is mostly retired now and Dean is in with all of his contacts. Their parents are still in Kansas but visit both boys often.

So far as Sam is aware he hasn’t dated as such. They’ve been in bars together when several people have been eyeing Dean up in such an obvious manner Sam is surprised they weren’t actually salivating. 

It’s not that Dean isn’t interested, it’s that he didn’t even notice. It’s like a part of him switched off. Sam is sure that he’s had to have been with people, but if so it’s been purely physical need driven; there has been no thought or emotion. Aside from with his family, and particularly Sam’s children, it’s like Dean has switched off from the world. He hasn’t even made any new friends. Sam thinks this is the main reason why he left the bunker, he couldn’t cope with all the new people.

It’s not that Dean is a hermit, on the face of it he’s as friendly as he ever was. But he’s not let anyone in. No one new anyway. Until now apparently. Sam is surprised. He’s not worried, he tells himself. But resolves to check Dean’s house for hex bags that night.

Dean comes into the kitchen, ‘Adam wants water, Charlotte wants a snack and I don’t know where Fergus went, but Tag, you’re it’, with a slap on Sam’s back. He slumps own into a chair after pulling a beer from the fridge, pulling his hand across his brown and fanning his sweaty face with his T-shirt. ‘Phew, I don’t know how you do that all day!’

Sam laughed, ‘I don’t! Eileen is superwoman though. She found it really tough adjusting to start, she definitely was grateful to get back to work rather than being stuck at home all the time. I think it makes her a better mom when she is with the kids. You can’t pour from an empty cup and all that. 

I do what I can, but if I’m away on a case and she has to manage on her own it’s hard. I couldn’t do it as often as she does. Love them all to bits though’ he smiled. 

‘Oh yeah man, love them more than anything, they keep me young too’ Dean grinned. He had barely aged a day in the last decade. Sam on the other hand was finding more and more grey hairs, ‘Funny they have the opposite effect with me’.

‘So, what’s up with you? Anything new to report? Anyone new?’ He rolled his eyes mentally, not very subtle.

Dean throws him a sharp look. ‘No one new.’ He raised his eyebrows questioningly. 

Sam knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere like this and started describing a recent case of his that he thought Dean would find interesting. Dean sat in silence, a contemplative look on his face. He sipped his beer slowly, savouring the taste. Sam noticed and eventually stopped talking. Dean didn’t register. Eventually he felt eyes on him and looked up at Sam ‘What?’

‘You know you can talk to me. It’s been nearly ten years. 

I know it’s been hard for you. If you’re feeling guilty or if there’s anything you need to get off your chest while I’m here ... ‘ he trailed off as Dean got an angry look on his face.

‘It’s been hard for me has it? You have no idea Sammy, no idea. And now,’ he huffed, raked his hands through his hair and stood up, ‘Now I just want to spend some time with the people I love without an interrogation, is that allowed?’

Sam was on his feet as well. ‘Of course man, I wasn’t trying to... I’ve tried before, but you’ve never been in the right place. I just thought ...’ 

‘Yeah well don’t. You don’t understand and you never will. I spent nearly 40 years of my life thinking I was worthless, that I was only any good so long as I was there for you. To find out that I meant so much to someone, that I had no idea ...’ tears were forming in his eyes, ‘and I just lost that in a second. You have no idea how that felt, what I’ve had to deal with since.’ 

‘I know I don’t, but I’m here now, why don’t you tell me?’

‘No Sam, now is not the time. Maybe one day. But not now.’ With that, Dean stalked out of the house and across the field opposite to the track that led to his own house, ignoring calls from the other members of his family.

Sam stepped outside as well. ‘What happened?’ Eileen signed to him, ‘Damned if I know,’ Shrugged Sam. 

When they all reconvened later that night in Dean’s garden while he grilled burgers, he seemed his usual self. Sam still took it upon himself to check the house, but found nothing untoward. Instead he found pictures of his family, both blood and found, all around the house. Fond memories of their former life sprang out at Sam from the walls and furniture. The photo of Cas and Dean in their cowboy hats made him laugh out loud, the one of TFW the night before the first apocalypse brought tears to his eyes. 

For the first time in a long time he prayed, to Jack. To ask for his help, to find Dean some peace. He didn’t get a reply, but he knew Jack was there, that he heard.

He went back downstairs to find everyone singing around a fire pit. ‘Who are you all and what have you done with my family?’ Dean broke into a grin and pushed him onto a seat next to him, putting his arm around him. They stayed like that for hours. Long after most of the others had gone to bed and the fire had died low.

They had moved onto whiskey now. Bobby had brought a new bottle over and John had found glasses in Dean’s kitchen. They were the only ones left now.

‘Can you believe it’s been ten years since we had an apocalypse?’ Bobby held his glass in a toast ‘Thank the Lord,’ a pause, ‘well, Jack’. They all drank.

‘Did any of you think we would ever be here like this? After all the shit that happened, the apocalypse coming around every few years. You guys all long gone. If you told me this was my future, I’d have thought you were tripping.’ Sam was quiet for a moment. ‘To all those we lost and never regained.’ They drank quietly, Den stared into the fire, lost in thought.

‘Jack gave me a choice. 

I never told you boys before, I didn’t want to burden you. 

He said he was going to rebuild heaven. I could stay if I wanted or I could come back, be with you two.’ Bobby downed his drink, ‘I was bored, reliving the glory days, I thought why not? Though I didn’t realise at the time that meant spending so much time with you and Mary as well!’ With a side glance at John, twinkle in his eye, who cracked up immediately.

Dean got off his chair and went to envelope the older man in his arms. Mumbling close to his ear ‘I hope you don’t regret it’. ‘Never, boy, never’ Bobby gripped him hard back.

‘Ok, ok, enough with the chick flick moments’ Sam slapped his brother on the back.

‘We want to hear about the new chick’ John joked over the opposite side of the fire.

Dean’s head snapped around. ‘I’m sorry Dean, the cat’s out of the bag, I told these two you were bringing someone. We want to hear all about your new woman.’ A dangerous look came into Dean’s eyes. He stared at his father for several seconds before getting up and walking over. Sam could see he was seething with anger.

‘You had no right. It was supposed to be a surprise. You have no idea what you’re talking about!’ He turned around, walked in the house and slammed the door. 

‘I think that means I’m staying with you tonight Bobby.’ John raised his eyebrows with a smile. Bobby was less amused. ‘Idgit. You never knew how to deal with your eldest son.’ John started to frown.  
Sam could see where this was headed.

‘Dean is being very touchy lately, it wasn’t your fault Dad. It’s late, shall we all go to bed.’ Ever the diplomat, Sam managed to persuade them to call it a night. 

He stepped inside Dean’s front door and spied him through the kitchen door hunched over at the table. He looked up as Sam came in, his eyes red. Sam wasn’t sure how to broach a conversation so just sat down and didn’t say anything.

Dean looked down at his hands with a small chuckle. ‘It’s been ten years, how is it still so painful?’ He spread his palms.

Sam grasped his forearm. ‘It’s what happens when you love someone.’ 

Dean gave him a small smile. ‘How did you get all the brains Sam?’ 

‘Pah,’ Sam scoffed. ‘I just know you too well Dean.’ He paused, ‘you don’t have I suffer in silence you know, I knew him too, I loved him too. It’s different, yes, I didn’t have to watch him die, we didn’t have the same bond, but we can remember him together.’

‘I didn’t just watch him die Sam,’ came a small voice, ‘He died for me, because of me. And he was happy about it! I don’t think I can ever move past that.’ 

Slapping his knees he stood up, ‘Shall we call it a night? I imagine your gremlins are going to be crawling all over me at 6am!’ With that, he walked out the room.

As predicted, the next morning Dean’s room was overrun with children before the sun had even come up. 

Everyone had sat down to eat the hearty breakfast that Dean had cooked up, not letting anyone else help out. He was relinquishing his kitchen to his mom for dinner so he was taking charge for breakfast, was how he put it. 

There was a knock at the front door. Dean jumped up quickly. John raised his eyebrows at Mary. 

A female came from the hallway. Sam signed to Eileen who started beaming.

When the kitchen door opened, Dean was standing there with a grinning Charlie at his side. 

Sam and Mary jumped up for hugs. Bobby stared at her with an open mouth. John wasn’t sure what to make of it.

‘Dad, Bobby, this is Charlie. The other universe version, that is. I assume our version is chilling in heaven surrounded by naked chicks, or playing video games!’ That earned Dean a thump and rolled eyes from Charlie.

She held out her hand ‘Nice to meet you both, I’ve heard a lot about you.’

‘Likewise.’ Bobby extends his hand with a smile, John moves over slowly and holds out his hand.

‘Not quite what I was expecting when Dean said he was bringing someone home for Thanksgiving, but I’m pleased you’re here.’ He said looking at Dean. 

He could see in Dean’s eyes how pleased he was to have his friend here with his family, but also the caution there not to get into it right now. 

Dean wasn’t in the mood to have that conversation with his dad today. The one that Sam had tried to start yesterday. The one that Bobby and his mom had tried to have as well. He had seen the hope in his father’s eyes when he thought Dean was bringing a new girlfriend home. He didn’t want to see disappointment in there, not today. He just wanted to get through the day with his family and enjoy himself until he could get quietly drunk enough that he would fall asleep in the corner and not think about all the things he had never been thankful for while they were there staring him in the face every day... 

He ran his hands over his face and strode over to the table. ‘Right guys, move over, make room for your auntie Charlie!’ Three pairs of eyes looked up at him, he realised what he said, ‘oh, no, not that one, but this one is really great fun, you’ll love her.’ He remembers crying in the hospital when Sam told him he had named his daughter Charlotte Mary (thank goodness he hadn’t tried to name either boy Castiel), he wasn’t in the mood to do it again today. He marched over and got another plate for Charlie and heaped it high.

To try and burn off some energy for the little Winchesters pre-lunch, he took them out to the back of the house to play. Charlie sat on the fence wrapped up against the cold and cheered them on. When Dean, but not the kids, was exhausted they called it quits. He came up to sit next to her.

‘How are you doing since the breakup?’ He asked wrapping his arm round her shoulder, ‘Oh, you know, surviving. It never gets easier losing someone you love, even if you know it won’t work, you have to hope.’

Dean gave a small, sad smile. ‘Still not dating then?’ She surmised. Dean looked up at the clear blue sky, thinking about a different blue.

‘You know, the old adage you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. It’s like that, but I knew. Every time I lost it, I promised myself, but then everything would go back to how it was, and it’s hard to have that conversation, you know I’m no good with feelings, and I was so desperate not to lose it...’ he trailed off 

‘And it was my fault, I couldn’t stop it, and the kid... sometimes it’s easier talking to someone who doesn’t remember how I used to be, what I used to be like, the women I dated, how easy it was! I just, I can’t anymore. I see a pair of blue eyes and it’s like PTSD.’ 

She put her hand on his arm and they just sat there for a few minutes before heading back into the house.

After dinner Mary was forced out of the kitchen while the rest of the family cleared up. As designated guest Charlie was also barred from the kitchen. She and Mary went round Dean’s house looking at his various photos. Charlie commented on Sam’s miraculous teenage growth spurt, Dean’s cheeky grin apparent even in photos of him as a small boy, John with the infamous Impala, Mary with her parents, John’s parents before he was born. Mary filled Charlie in on all the family history. Charlie knew some of it but there was a lot more she had never heard.

They came across some pictures of the other Charlie. She had seen her before, but still marvelled at seeing photos of her. 

Mary picked the next frame up slowly. ‘I miss him’. Charlie tried to hold in a snort of laughter and failed, ‘I’m so sorry Mary, but what are they wearing?’ Mary started laughing too, ‘oh that was Dean’s idea of a great day out, something to do with a case, the chance to be real Texas rangers, but he went to town according to Sam. And of course Cas just let Dean do what he wanted.’ Their smiles faded.

‘For an all powerful ancient being, he could be very sweet. And gorgeous, eyes like the sky.’ She smile, remembering.

The next photo Charlie picked up was of Dean with two people she didn’t recognise. ‘Who are they?’ Mary looked sad. ‘That’s Lisa and Ben, it ended badly. It’s one of Dean’s big regrets. He lived with them for a while, Ben isn’t his but he loved him like he was. He tried to protect them but he couldn’t keep hunting and look after them. They were targeted to get to Dean. He took it hard, ended up erasing their memories and cutting off contact to protect them. I know it hurt him a lot. Had a lasting impact on relationships for him.’

Charlie stared at the photo for a while, thinking about what Dean had said earlier. ‘She’s pretty. Beautiful dark eyes.’ 

The rest of the day passed in a blur of games, hugs and drinks.

The evening drew to a close. Charlie and Dean found themselves the last ones standing, a glass of brandy in hand, being classy Dean said. 

‘So what are you going to do?’ She asked.

‘Me? I’m fine? What do you mean?’

She looked at him. ‘I am!’ He snapped.

‘Fine, but you know I’m here if you’re not.’

‘Why does everyone keep saying that to me all of a sudden?’

‘We care about you Dean.’

They sit there quietly for a while. ‘I’m worried about Sam.’

‘Sam? Why? 

Please don’t take this the wrong way Dean, but of the two of you, he’s not the one I’m concerned about. He seems sorted.’

‘Exactly. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. It always does. It’s been ten years, he’s got an amazing wife, kids, he finished school, got a great job, people we lost came back. I think he made a deal.’ 

He put his head in his hands, took a deep breath, ‘When I died, I think he made a deal. It’s so obvious, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.’

‘Wait, what? When did you die?’

‘We were on a hunt, not long after the whole Chuck thing. Real cake walk. Except it wasn’t. I got hurt real bad. I said goodbye to Sammy. I know I was gone. But then I woke up in hospital. He said he rang an ambulance and they bought me back in the van. I don’t believe him anymore. 

It’s why I wanted everyone here, now, to watch him. But I can’t see any of the signs. I’ve been waiting for this for a few years now, for him to confess, for something to happen. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. But something doesn’t seem right. Everyone getting their happily ever after? It doesn’t happen.’ She could have sworn she heard ‘except for me’ escape under his breath.

‘Ok well we’ve got a few days, what do you want to do?’

She watched Sam closely the next few days, to see if he was agitated, worried. He showed no signs. Dean on the other hand, he was a wreck. She had to tell him he was wrong. She wasn’t sure if it would help or make him worse. But it was getting out of hand.

She came to sit beside him that evening, passing him a beer. Before she opened her mouth she heard, ‘I know you’ve come to tell me I’m wrong.

I don’t want it to be true. But part of me does, because if it is its something I can fix. If it’s not, it’s just a cosmic joke on me. I’m not sure I can deal with that.’ He started to cry. ‘It’s so ironic that the thing that would make me truly happy is something I can’t have, the joke is definitely on me. He slammed his fist hard into the deck. She kept quiet, expecting that she would probably learn more that way.

‘Because I could have had it, if I had done something about it!’

He turned to her, tears in his eyes, ‘promise me Charlie, if you love someone, even if you’re scared, please tell them. Do whatever you can to make it work. Don’t end up like me.’ He stood up and went inside. 

Charlie was more lost than ever now. What Dean was saying didn’t make any sense. She heard footsteps coming along the outside of the house. 

‘You heard?’ She asked without turning.

Sam stood in silence for a moment. ‘I’ve tried speaking to Jack, he rarely answers. At least not in a way I can understand. He’s just lost and alone. All we can do is show him he’s important to us still and we need him.’

‘Do you understand what he said?’

‘Not completely, I don’t know what happened at the end. But I know who he’s talking about. And there’s nothing we can do, believe me, I tried, and I know he has.’

The next day, however, Dean begged off a family trip to the forest in the morning complaining of a hangover (Sam scoffed that if that amount of booze gave him a hangover, had he ever had a day of his adult life without one) but nevertheless they let him be. Bobby was nearby in an emergency.

They had been gone a few hours when Dean heard a knock at his door while he was raking leaves (he swore the grass looked like he had never touched it just two days before’.

Assuming it was Bobby stopping by for a cold one he called out, ‘The gate’s open, I’m out here.’ Very few people ever visited him, it was unlikely to be anyone else.

He heard the gate swing open and shut quietly again. ‘I’ve got some beers in the cooler on the step, help yourself.’ He called, not looking up from stuffing leaves into a black sack. 

‘Hello Dean’. 

Dean froze. He stood up slowly and turned around. Stood there looking at him with his usual head tilt and piercing blue stare was Castiel.

He took a step towards the man whose face haunted his every dream and nightmare. And another, within seconds he was running. Reason and rational thought went out the window. He didn’t stop to think why he was here, how, he didn’t stop to check for a trap or a weapon, but just threw himself at Cas, tears streaming down his face.

He grabbed the angel so tight to him he’s sure he heard an ‘ooof’ as Cas was winded. He didn’t care. He held onto him for dear life, for what seemed like hours. In reality it was likely a matter of minutes before Cas pulled back and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, that shoulder. Dean knew he was not mistaken.

‘How?’

A small smile, ‘I’m sorry it took me so long’.

‘To get out of the empty? Are you ok? I tried to come and get you but I couldn’t. I tried for years, nothing ever worked.’

‘I was in heaven Dean.’

‘You were ...? Why haven’t you been here before, told me you’re ok?’

‘I had a deal with Jack. He got me out of The Empty. I planned to come to you, but he needed my help with heaven first. And then, of course you died, so I had to fix that, which delayed things. It took almost all of my power. It meant that rebuilding heaven took longer than expected. 

Time moves differently there, it hasn’t seemed that long. Jack hear Sam’s prayer. Jack told me how long it had been here. We decided it was time.’

‘Sam prayed? About me? Jack heard him?’

‘Yes Dean, Jack hears everything.’ He looked away, ‘I heard you too.’

Dean’s head snapped round. ‘You heard me? I haven’t prayed to you in years Cas, what was the point? You never answered. And now I find out that you heard me all that time and didn’t once reply.’ Though there was anger in his voice there were tears in his eyes. 

He backed away, turned around and let out a small sob. Castiel stood watching him. Waiting for it to pass. Knowing Dean so well, he knew it would.

He was right. ‘You don’t know what you did to me Cas. You stood right there and told me everything I believed about myself wasn’t true. All the guilt and pain I had carried my whole life. When you said... that ... it all just vanished. But then you did too. You left me. Again. And this time you didn’t come back. I tried so hard to move on, to live my life. God, you have no idea.

You ruined me Cas. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I wanted to give up. I did ...’

Suddenly he lifted his head, realisation flashing in his eyes. ‘It was you! I knew that something had happened. All this time I thought Sam...’ he trailed off.

‘It wasn’t Sam who made a deal Dean.’

The anguish on Dean’s face was palpable. ‘No!’ He cried, his voice breaking. But Cas just smiled at him.

‘No Dean, it was a good deal. With Jack. In exchange for me staying to help as long as he needed, which was longer than I had intended, he would let me come back.’

Cas looked away as he carried on, ‘But he had conditions, that I was very willing to accept. 

He’s trying to be hands off, let the world live on its own. He doesn’t want angels living down here permanently. A visit every now and then is fine but no more.’

Dean turned to Cas realising what he was trying to say. ‘So this is it? I’ve got you what, a day? Once every ten years! You should have let me go! What was the point.’

Cas reached over to grab Dean’s arm, stopping him from pulling away. ‘You don’t understand Dean. That wasn’t enough for me. I’m not an angel anymore.’ 

Dean stared at him in shock, barely breathing. That he’d give all that up, for him. His head was buzzing, about to explode.

Cas cleared his throat, looking away, ‘So, uh, you know, I’ll be around when you want to catch up. I can get a place, somewhere , umm, you can show me around, if you want to of course. I know I’m not an angel anymore but hopefully we can still be friends?

Dean looked at him intently for a moment before bursting into hysterical laughter. Cas stood and looked at him quizzically, head tilted to the side in his usual way. 

‘Are you serious Cas? Oh my god what’s wrong with us,’ he said dragging his hands down his face. ‘You told me you loved me, you died to save me, you’ve listened to my ever increasing desperate prayers asking you to come home, you apparently gave up your grace for me, and you’re asking if you might be able to catch up occasionally?’

‘Well yes Dean, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’ He looked confused, as usual. This only made Dean guffaw even more.

‘All you’ve ever done for the entire time I’ve known you is make me uncomfortable. You look at me like that, you stand so close, you tell me things that make me feel differently about myself. Everything about you makes me uncomfortable Cas.’

‘Oh, um, sorry I can just go then. I didn’t realise...’ he started to turn when he heard, quietly Dean murmured, ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

Turning back he could see tears in Dean’s eyes. ‘I have missed you so much, I’ve felt like half a man. I don’t want you to pop in and out of my life. 

I want, no Cas, I need you. And not because you’re an angel, because that ship has sailed anyway, but it was never about that. I need YOU. The awkward stares, the lack of filter, I need all of it in my life, always. Cas, you can have me.’

Castiel blinked. Stared at Dean. The righteous man. The soul which the moment he touched it changed the course of his life forever. ‘What do you mean?’ He asked carefully.

‘You told me that the one thing you wanted you knew you could never have. Given what you said after that, I thought, that it was me. 

You told me I changed you. Well you changed me too. If you had told 20 year old me I would fall in love with an angel I would have laughed, and had visions of some gorgeous, blond, buxom wood nymph, not a damn tax accountant in a trench coat. 

Cas, I’m trying to tell you that I’ve tried to live without you and I don’t want to do it anymore. 

Please don’t leave me again.’

It was that last sentence that made Castiel really listen. He finally heard what had been there for years. Dean wanted him, not his power or his knowledge and connections (he knew Dean didn’t hunt anymore). He wanted Castiel to stay with him. 

Dean knew he had finally got through to him with those words. The ones which were the hardest to say. Don’t leave, stay with me. Everyone left him, but revealing his weakness to the one man who had seen his soul, seen his flaws and watched him at his worst and still wanted him, it didn’t seem like that big a deal anymore. He was fed up with everyone else having what they wanted and not him.

He moved closer to Cas and put his hands on his shoulders, drawing him closer, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. After a few seconds he felt Cas relax and grip him back. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, breathing each other in. They were finally home.

Dean pulled back, ‘So, uh, everyone is here for Thanksgiving weekend. They’ll be back for lunch. Do you want to come and say hi?’

‘If you want me to, Dean.’

With an arm round his angel’s (sorry former angel’s) shoulder he led him inside to give him the grand tour and to start making lunch for the hoards. They set up outside under a gazebo with the grill going and heaters and blankets dotted around. It was snowing lightly and the scene looked magical with fairy lights dangling from the canopy. Cas stayed in the kitchen as Dean’s family returned from their excursion.

Sam eyed Dean suspiciously, something was up. He couldn’t put his finger on it. He exchanged a look with his mom who just shrugged. He looked around but couldn’t see any sign of other visitors.

Finally, when everyone was settled (not having let anyone into the house). Dean clapped his hands. ‘I would like to make a toast. To my family, found and blood...’ a deep breath in, 

‘To love’.

Although they thought it odd, everyone drank. When Dean didn’t sit down again, but carried on standing there turning his glass round in his hands, Sam knew that he had been right. Something about Dean was different.

‘We have been through so much together.’ Dean started, ‘I can count on you all for anything. Even to be interfering and annoying’ - looking directly at Sam when he said this - ‘But you know what, sometimes interfering and annoying works. Sometimes the message gets through.’ Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother, who just smirked.

‘All of you have been on at me for a while now to ‘get a life’. And I’m sorry I had you all so worried.’

With a full wattage Dean grin ‘And I’m sorry I gave you false hope, although Charlie was a way better surprise than any girl I could pick up at a bar.’ Charlie whooped and everyone laughed.

‘But seriously, I know what I’ve been like. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I’ve felt all this time. There are some things you can never move on from. That colour everything else you do.’ 

The mood became somber, everyone knew what he was talking about, though no one could understand why all of a sudden he was talking about it voluntarily, to all of them. 

‘I’ve never moved on. I never wanted to. And as much as you all offered well meant advice, I just couldn’t heed it. 

But I’m grateful nonetheless, for you all sticking by me while I was stuck. For waiting patiently for me to catch up. 

He looked up. Eyes focussing softly on Sam, who held his breath. Praying...

‘But now I don’t have to.’

Slowly Dean lifted his gaze above their heads to the steps leading up to his kitchen door, where there waited a man in a tan trench coat in a pool of light coming through the window. 

They stared at each other for what seemed like eons. Blue and green eyes blazing. 

There was a collective gasp. Dean finally let himself give a small smile as he broke contact with the piercing blue eyes. Sam lept up, almost knocking over his wife to race up the steps and pick Cas up in a mighty bear hug. This made Cas laugh, a sight Dean hadn’t seen for far too long. Soon he was lost in the throng of Dean’s family welcoming him home.

Everyone was peppering Cas with a thousand questions. He managed to answer that no he’s not dead anymore, no he’s not an angel anymore, yes he’s here to stay, to everyone’s satisfaction. 

Eventually he made it to Dean’s side.

Dean had hung back. His father, who hadn’t met Castiel before, was stood by him. 

He held out his hand to John. ‘Good to meet you Sir.’ 

John frowned. Dean’s breath hitched in his throat. Castiel continued to stare at the elder Winchester, face impassive.

‘I understand that you are several millennia old Castiel?’

Unperturbed, but a little hesitantly, Cas replied, ‘Yes, that is true.’ 

‘Isn’t my son a little young for you?’

Dean’s mouth dropped open in surprise as John’s cracked into a smile, Cas looked confused. ‘I really think the Sir is probably unnecessary,’ stated John as he took Castiel’s hand in both of his.

A little while later while Cas was engaged in a lengthy sign conversation with Eileen that Dean couldn’t keep up with, his father came to stand next to him again. 

‘I’m sorry son.’

Dean turned to look at him with a question in his eyes. ‘For not understanding.’

‘It’s ok Dad, I didn’t, for a long time.’

Mary came to join them. ‘I’m so proud of all my boys’ she said glancing at Cas, ‘I’m so pleased to have him home at last.’

Sam was helping clear up the tables and chairs outside later that day once most people had gone to bed, Cas and Dean were on washing up duty, back already to bickering like an old married couple ‘No, Cas, you don’t stack the plates like that, don’t you know anything?’ ‘Dean, I am a former angel of the lord, the things I know are unfathomable’, Sam heard Dean chuckle. He hadn’t seen him like that in years. It was like a weight had lifted.

Sam finished stacking the chairs and turned to walk back into the house when the hairs on his neck started to prickle. It had been a long time since he had that feeling. Of being watched. He carried on pretending to tidy, scouting the shadows while he did. 

In a few moments he relaxed. ‘Jack, I know it’s you.’

‘Hi Sam’ the kid held up his hand in greeting. Sam enveloped him in a hug. ‘I thought you were staying hands off?’

‘I was, I mean I am. But, I wanted to see my family. See everyone happy. I miss you all.’

‘We miss you too Jack. But you’ve given us the most wonderful gift.’ He looked through the window at Cas and Dean who were now dancing along to one of Dean’s favourite songs while covered in soap suds. ‘We’ve got Dean back as well as Cas.’

Jack smiled, ‘I’m sorry it took so long. Thank you for telling me.’

‘So, how is heaven?’

‘It’s perfect Sam, just how it always should have been. I would never have known if it weren’t for all of you, teaching me all the lessons I needed, getting me ready for his. I’m eternally grateful.

There’s a special area we’ve made just for all of you when you get there. I promise I will visit there more often.

I’m sorry I can’t stay now. But we will be together soon.’

With a touch on Sam’s arm, Jack is gone. Sam blinks back the tears in his eyes and focusses on the scene in front of him. 

It’s turned into a bizarre tango. Dean is on top form, Cas being dragged across the floor, Dean singing at the top of his voice ‘Carry on my wayward son, there will be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest, don’t you cry no more.’


End file.
